Nobody hands you an instruction manual for this part.
There's a particular kind of panic that happens when someone dies.
Whether you knew it was coming or it happened completely out of nowhere, there's usually a moment when you realize that, on top of everything you're feeling, you're now expected to know what to do.
Who do I call? Do I call 911? A funeral home? The hospital? Do I need to move them? How long do I have? Am I supposed to be doing something right now?
First of all, nobody expects you to magically know any of this.
Well, nobody should expect you to.
I've been a licensed funeral director for over 15 years, and one of the things I've learned is that people are often asked to make some pretty significant decisions during one of the most disorienting moments of their lives.
So, let's make at least one part of this a little easier.
Here's who to call when someone dies, depending on where and how the death occurred.
If Someone Dies at Home
This is where things can get a little confusing because the answer depends on whether the death was expected.
If the person was receiving hospice care:
Call the hospice agency first.
Hospice nurses are trained to guide families through this process. They'll explain what happens next, arrange for the appropriate professional to pronounce the death, and help coordinate with the funeral home you've selected.
You generally do not need to call 911 for an expected hospice death.
And if you haven't selected a funeral home yet? That's okay. You can ask the hospice team what happens next while you make that decision.
If the person was not receiving hospice care:
If someone is unresponsive and you're unsure whether they're alive, call 911 immediately.
If the person has died unexpectedly, call 911 as well. Emergency responders will assess the situation and determine whether law enforcement or the medical examiner needs to become involved.
I know that sounds intimidating, but medical examiner involvement doesn't automatically mean something suspicious happened.
Sometimes it simply means the death occurred under circumstances that require an official investigation.
One important thing: If the death is unexpected or the circumstances are unclear, avoid moving the person or disturbing the surrounding area unless emergency responders instruct you to do so.
If Someone Dies at a Hospital
The hospital staff will handle the immediate medical responsibilities, including the appropriate documentation and notification procedures.
Your next major responsibility will typically be choosing a funeral home or cremation provider.
And here's something I really want you to understand:
You do not have to use a funeral home recommended by the hospital.
You get to choose.
You can call around, ask questions, compare prices, and select a provider that feels right for your family.
The hospital may ask you to identify a funeral home relatively quickly, but that doesn't mean you have to make every funeral decision right then and there.
You can choose who will care for your person without knowing exactly what the service will look like.
Those are two different decisions.
If Someone Dies at a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility
Start with the facility staff.
Depending on the circumstances, the facility will coordinate the necessary notifications, contact the appropriate medical professional, and explain its procedures for releasing your person's remains.
Some facilities may already have a funeral home listed in the resident's records.
But again, that doesn't necessarily mean you're required to use that provider.
If your family has another funeral home in mind, communicate that to the facility.
And if you don't have one selected, ask how much time you have and what arrangements need to be made.
If Someone Dies Unexpectedly or Under Unusual Circumstances
Accidents, sudden deaths, deaths involving injuries, and certain unattended deaths may require involvement from the medical examiner or coroner.
In Los Angeles County, that agency is the Department of Medical Examiner.
If you're at the scene of an unexpected death, call 911.
If you've been notified that your person is already in the medical examiner's care, the next step is to contact that office for information about the case and the release process.
You can still select your own funeral home.
Your funeral director will coordinate with the medical examiner once the person is cleared for release.
And please understand that an investigation can take time. That's not necessarily a reflection of anything your family has or hasn't done.
Okay, But When Do I Call the Funeral Home?
Once the immediate medical or emergency steps have been addressed, you can contact a funeral home.
You do not need to have all the answers before making that call.
Seriously.
You don't need to know whether you want burial or cremation. You don't need to know what kind of service you want. You don't need to have an obituary written, a cemetery selected, or your entire family in agreement.
You can simply say:
"My person died, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do next."
That's enough to start the conversation.
A funeral director should be able to explain the process, discuss your options, provide pricing information, and help you understand which decisions need to happen now and which ones can wait.
And because I believe in making informed decisions, I'm going to encourage you to ask questions.
Ask what's included in the price. Ask about transportation. Ask what happens to your person's body. Ask about timelines. Ask about any additional fees.
You are allowed to understand what you're paying for.
You are also allowed to say, "I need a minute to think about that."
Who Else Needs to Know?
Once the immediate arrangements are underway, there are other people and organizations you'll eventually need to notify.
Depending on your person's circumstances, that might include:
Close family members and friends
Their employer
Their insurance company
Social Security
Banks and other financial institutions
Pension or retirement administrators
Veterans Affairs, if applicable
Their landlord or property manager
But here's the thing: Not everybody needs a phone call today.
Some notifications are time-sensitive. Others can wait until you have a little more information and support.
You also don't have to personally make every call.
If you have someone in your corner who's asking, "What can I do?" this is an excellent opportunity to give them something specific.
Ask them to notify relatives. Ask them to make a list of organizations that need to be contacted. Ask them to help gather documents.
Let people help with the administrative stuff.
There's plenty of it.
A Few Things I Want You to Remember
Before I let you go, there are a few things I want to make sure you know.
You have choices. You can choose your funeral home, ask for prices, and decide what kind of arrangements make sense for your family.
You don't have to plan everything at once. Taking care of your person's immediate needs and planning a meaningful goodbye are not necessarily the same task.
You can ask questions more than once. Grief, shock, exhaustion, and information overload can make it difficult to retain details. A good funeral director understands that.
You can bring someone with you. Whether you're meeting in person or making arrangements over the phone, having another person listen, take notes, or simply sit beside you can be helpful.
And finally, you don't have to be composed to make the call.
You can cry. You can be confused. You can be angry. You can be completely numb. You can even laugh at something wildly inappropriate because sometimes that's what happens.
I've heard it all.
We're Here When You Need Us
At Prism Memorial, we believe funeral care should feel less like navigating a complicated transaction and more like having someone knowledgeable in your corner.
We're a licensed funeral home and memorial studio serving families in Los Angeles, offering funeral and cremation arrangements alongside space for remembrance, community, and everything that comes after.
Whether you need immediate assistance or simply want to understand your options before a death occurs, we're here to help you figure out what happens next.
You don't need a script.
You don't need to have it all figured out.